The Expendables – The Girly Version

  • Sylvester Stallone proved he still had it in him when he made Rocky Balboa, quickly followed by Rambo – as other stars, he found out that returning to the franchises that made you famous can really revitalize your career. And then The Expendables hit – a long awaited dream of the little boy inside of us, the movie which united major action stars from the 80’s and 90’s.

    This film brought with it another idea – how would it be if all the testosterone was replaced with the graces of some of the most beloved female action stars?

    ExpendaBellesThe last time we’ve heard about the ExpendaBelles project was about one year or so ago, when the project was green light and everybody made assumptions of who should be cast. Of course, everybody thought instantly about the actresses that have made a name for themselves by playing in action movies, the actresses which starred in their own action franchises – namely Milla Jovovich, Kate Beckinsale, and – of course – the mother of them all: Sigourney Weaver.

    Just yesterday some news finally surfaced. As expected, the script was in the process of being written since one year ago by the duo Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith, better known for penning movies like Legally Blonde and The Ugly Truth. What is new you might ask? Well, they also found a director.

    And he is Robert Luketic, who – quite a coincidence – is the one who directed Legally Blonde and The Ugly Truth. Do you see where this movie is heading? Deadine has revealed the logline:

    “When America’s Navy SEAL is wiped out trying to penetrate the island lair of a deadly despot who has captured one of the world’s top nuclear scientists, it becomes clear that there is no such thing as the right man for the job and that this is a mission so impossible that only women can handle it. The only way in: some of the world’s deadliest female operatives must pose as high-class call-girls shipped in by private plane to satisfy a dictator–and instead save the scientist and the day.”

    The ExpendaBelles project could have gone in one of two directions one year ago. The first one was a Charlie’s Angels stile of a movie, with plenty of campy action sequences and explosions: a sort of female-exploitation genre. The second direction was that of a gritty action-thriller along the lines of Haywire, where the action sequences stick very closely to reality – let’s be honest: who wouldn’t want to see Gina Carano kicking some major masculine butt?

    Check out what the producer said about how the movie will be before the director was announced:

    “The action movie will be spectacular – and in nothing inferior to the three male movies of the “The Expendables” There will be battles, special and visual effects and stunts – the spectacle will be equivalent to what Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis and Jean Claude van Damme have done … Two excellent screenwriters are already working on the picture. Now we are in search of a female director.”

    From this point on, the direction is pretty clear: a campy action flick in which the men are simply replaced by women: just a simple exploitation film, with the pretention of not taking itself too seriously. From our point of view, maybe they should have headed on the other direction.

    Another thing needs to be added about this project. The latest stars who were eyed for a role were Cameron Diaz (who made “history” with Charlie’s Angels), Milla Jovovich (the protagonist of the cash-cow Resident Evil), and Meryl Streep (winner of 3 Oscars and nominated for other 15 – it is very-very unlikely that she will be cast).

    Cameron Meryl Milla

    The shooting is scheduled to start in sometime this year in Bulgaria.

    If you are not too excited about how this movie is shaping out to be, there is some good news: there is also another project which takes Haywire as an example, a project produced by Adi Shankar (known for pretty hefty movies like Killing Them Softly, Dredd, and Lone Survivor). Which stars are attached to this project? Glad you asked: Gina Carano from Haywire and Katee Sackhoff from movies like Riddick.

    Gina Carano

    Which of these projects sounds more appealing to you?